Steal this Blog

coming soon to a t-shirt near you, if you happen to live in austin

2008-10-24T02:04:00.001-05:00

apparition of the holy teapot

2008-10-22T00:26:00.002-05:00

vd

2008-02-14T12:36:00.001-06:00

faboo xmas

2006-12-10T12:40:00.000-06:00

Tragedy Strikes

2006-04-15T22:20:00.000-05:00

Sphereplay, part 2

2006-04-04T13:29:00.000-05:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=WKwzhMBzAew
here's a better resolution vid of a better routine--I look like hell, and make this silly "concentrating face", but here it is, warts and all.

sphereplay!

2006-04-04T00:27:00.000-05:00

I know--long time since contact juggling has been mentioned--it's a daily activity, like brushing teeth, or searching the house for listening devices. Here's a link to a vid of me playing with Roy, one of Mr Bigglesworth's litter. http://youtube.com/watch?v=bb92UtJhGc8
Video and picture courtesy of Bart, or as he's known to his tribe "Controlled by Squirrels".

MySpace April Fool to my friends, who might still like me....

2006-04-01T15:56:00.000-06:00

Don't Know When To Quit

2005-11-06T01:32:00.000-06:00

Ok, last one-- so tired, my ears are ringing like the buzzing of tone deaf locusts. Hold on.....ok, it was locusts.

More Damn Peacocks Stills, or something

2005-11-06T01:21:00.000-06:00

See you at Cannes, or maybe Sundance....or maybe not............

"Peacocks in the Trees"

2005-11-06T01:00:00.000-06:00

It's really tired, and I'm really late.......whatever. Ok, so these are either some pictures from my day at the park with Amber and Justin, or they're stills from my avante guarde filme "Peacocks in the Trees", a sensitive tale of a young couple's struggle with severe castration anxiety and grooming choices. I forget which.
Either way, more to come later, whenever I regain my syntax.

Mas Changos

2005-10-07T22:03:00.000-05:00

This applique is a gift from my friend, Sandy. I'm embarrassingly easy to shop for-- any cool monkeys, pirates, etc...She gave this to me last winter, and I've only just found the perfect garment to apply it to. My baby twin sis, Amber, took me on another shopping excursion--Amber has amazing powers in retail settings. She can carry 8 times her own weight in merchandise, can find the coolest things marked down, and tells me in a split second if it looks good on me or not. Honestly, she steers me away from things that would make me look foolish, and gets me to try things that would never occur to fashion impaired me. I return the favor by helping her when she wants to hang pictures--I can hold things up on walls, and work a power drill like nobody's business! Anyway, she found a brown corduroy jacket that this will be great on-- soon my jacket will match my phone--it's covered in monkey stickers, and the ring tone? You guessed it! On that note--Bart was here earlier-- he came up with a great name for a pro-Darwin society--the Blasphemonkeys!

FSG--The Top 5 List

2005-10-07T18:53:00.000-05:00

October 7, 2005

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

As the debate rages between evolution
and creationism/intelligent design,
a new contender has entered the arena:

The Flying Spaghetti Monster!

You can read all about His Holy Noodleness
and the Pastafarian religion he founded
by going here: http://www.venganza.org/

The Top 5 Stories in the
Flying Spaghetti Monster Bible

5> Moses wanders in the desert for 40 years, earning the
reputation of worst pizza-delivery guy EVER.

4> The angel Gabriel announces the coming birth of the savior
to a bottle of extra virgin olive oil.

3> Pontius Pilate orders the Flying Spaghetti Monster thrown
against a wall to see if he sticks.

2> Adam and Eve order the apple pie and are kicked out of the
Olive Garden.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Story in
the Flying Spaghetti Monster Bible...

1> At the last spaghetti supper, His Holy Noodleness is
betrayed by disciple Atkins Lowcarbiot.

Join ClubTop5 to see the whole 15-item list and the
Runner Up/Honorable Mention submissions for today's list:
"The Unchosen People" and "Lingweenie"
http://www.topfive.com/html/clubtop5.shtml

Monkey!

2005-10-07T14:59:00.000-05:00

Mariana http://gatochy.blogspot.com/ told me that whenever she sees a cute monkey picture, she thinks of me :D. That makes me giggle, I have to admit-- when I tended bar, my nickname was "chango"--due to my "monkeyshines" in the kitchen. There is just something so gratifying about behaving in a primative manner while dressed in a tux.
This monkey was on the card I received from the school as a thanks for recruiting another student. Ok, bribe, 'cuz I got a $50 gift certificate.....anyway--here it is. OOK OOK!!

Ancestors--my Father's Family

2005-10-02T12:35:00.000-05:00

I discovered these photos in a drawer--I thought I'd seen all the family pictures, but these two are new to me. It took me a while to puzzle out the connection, but I'm sure they are my father's family. He always whenged on about how poor they were, but these photos paint a slightly different picture. My mother's family took no pictures--mom's mother was born on the reservation--actually, it was the Oklahoma Indian Territory in those days, or "the Nations", as gran referred to it.
To hear him talk on it, they were too poor to have these made. I know that his dad was an awful drunken bastard, named William Langsford Hoel. The story is-- I'm not making this up-- that he died screaming in a straightjacket at my father's feet. Apparently he had been committed to the sanitarium to dry out, was having delirium tremens, and had a stroke while my father was visiting- at the age of 16. Heavy stuff, and it screwed George up even more. I'm thinking that was when the family's financial state declined-- it starts to make more sense, as I write this. My grandfather's alcoholism must have been pretty bad to get him locked up, so these pictures must have been taken during better times. But if you look at the two youngest--my father, and my aunt Kay--you can see that they don't look very happy. Things must have been spiraling downward already.
George is on the left. I have no idea who the other two are. I think I would have like the guy behind my grandfather--I recognize that mischievous gleam-- I see it on myself at times.
The women are a mystery to me, except for the pretty lass on the left in the back. That is unmistakably my aunt Kay. She was the "blacksheep" of the family--the only one with any taste, style, or class in that bunch. My aunt Maxine was sweet, but crass, and my aunt Clara was a bit like something from a horror movie-- she and my dad were two peas in a rotten pod in my childhood. She married a rather passive gent, who she rode roughshod over, much like my parents marriage, but in reverse. Both she and George chose gentle, easily cowed partners. I believe Maxine is the front left, Clara must be backrow central, and Rachel must be front row right. The girl behind her has to be the aunt I never met, Cora Mae. She and George had a falling out, and he refused to speak to her or see her. I know she was alive during the 60's. My grandmother was named Era Vera Savidge before her marriage, and was known as "Aunt Sis" in the community. She held the family together as best she could. I know nothing else about her.
I look at the picture of George, and it blows my mind--makes me think of "The Picture of Dorian Grey", but in reverse. He was 44 the year I was born (the age I am now). Growing up, everyone thought he was my grandfather. He looked like hell. A combination of bad habits and a twisted personality made him quite ugly, so to see the attractive youth he once was is strange. He saved my aunt Kay from being killed by their father-- she had become pregnant out of wedlock, and her dad--the sick fuck- decided he would beat her to death with a chain. George fought him off while Kay made her escape. My aunt Clara adopted the baby, and refused to ever let Kay see her. Her daughter--my cousin Kay-- married a gent who owned a joke and novelty shop.

AK & Edd

2005-10-01T21:38:00.000-05:00

This is an old photo of my late bro and his best bud, AK. That's "A-K", like the weapon. He is the toughest lad I know. He's small enough to stretch out completely on my massage table, and he can lift and carry a Harley engine. He probably shouldn't, but I'm not going to be the one to break it to him..... He's the only person I know that I can lift who can lift me in return--and I'm a great whopping gi-normous lad. AK now wears his hair in a microscopic mohawk. He has this amazing gravelly voice that sounds like it should be coming out of a much larger person. He works his bum off, and he goes to bed earlier than any tough guy you've ever met. I'm glad we're friends. He's great. The doggie is his--named "King". The sweetest pitbull you'll ever meet--just a big love sponge.

My Buddy, Art

2005-09-30T20:20:00.000-05:00

This is “Art”. I’ve had him for about 10 years now. He’s cast from a boxer’s lifecast, made of surgical latex. He’s both a statue and a punching bag. Well, he was designed to be a punching bag, but he has the obvious statue appeal.
He’s wearing my bicycle helmet, and the eyes are from the early version of the “my eye” picture. He has a third function—scarecrow. People are often startled by him—at a glance, it looks like someone’s lurking by my back door. He’s even surprised me a few times. He is adjustable—you can raise and lower him to suit the height of your choosing. He stands up to being punched and kicked – witness the streaks on him. Those are from a variety of gloves and shoes. I have never kicked him barefooted—the few times I’ve given him a bare knuckled swat discouraged that.
“So, Trey—you’re a Buddhist and all—what’s up with this?”
I once read that for a pauper to renounce wealth is meaningless. So I reckon for a person no good at kicking ass, renouncing violence would be equally meaningless. Plus, it’s great exercise.

What's the Difference Between the Internet and my Refrigerator Door?/ (what's RED and INVISIBLE?)

2005-09-26T22:55:00.000-05:00

......Bloody nothing, mate!
OKay, busted-- I utterly dote on my goddaughter. I just got home from my first visit in months--her ma, the beautiful and talented Lilly, is always so busy doing the full time supermom gig, as well as working when she can, that it is difficult for us to synchronize our schedules. Nox,(the wee lassie) is the most well behaved, secure child I've ever known. She even puts Michael's lot to shame--if they had any, the wee monkies :)
Lilly has given me permission to photograph her artwork for inclusion here on STB. I'm so delighted, as I suspect will you be, as well, when you see it. (DON'T ask me to diagram that last sentence). But in the meantime, here is Nox's latest gift to me--she always has some handmade bit of art for me-- we've graduated from playdough shapes and pages from colouring books to this hand drawn delight. My favorite bits: The hair floating just above the girl's head, and the spectacle-like eyes on the doggie. I believe this to be a self portrait, although Nox has flaxen hair and a pale complexion. Ok, enough proud godfather gush.

Lame-arsed update

2005-09-24T15:29:00.000-05:00

I saw this at "MySpace"--made me giggle, and feel kinda wrong about it. When, oh when will people end this simultaneous humiliation of fuzzy bunnies and the senseless waste of perfectly good pancakes?

My Inner Child is Hyperactive

2005-08-20T19:47:00.000-05:00

I made these collages for a gift calandar last year. My favorite details in Nov: the scarcrow crucifix on the wall, the skull and cross bones painting, the plate of sushi in front of the turkey, and the head on a platter.
My favoite details in Dec: the attitude of the admiring elves and angel, and the proud look of the snowman. I need to do volunteer work or something to keep me out of trouble. Maybe the local church will let me write their newsletter....................................................................................

A Younger Trey

2005-08-17T19:49:00.000-05:00

Ok-- two are of me at 24, with Ceri (my cat). Three are of me with Macha (the wolf dog) and the third is me behind the radio station I worked at when I was 20. The rainbow effect was a mystery of film malfunction.

Bizarre Update

2005-08-07T15:50:00.000-05:00

Amber--my evil twin who's 19 years younger than me (how's THAT for evil?) calls me
"The Isolator", due to my hermit-like habits of seclusion. I made this for a t-shirt transfer.

my eye! no, really...I believe you.(chuckle)
It's my right eye, 3/4 profile, copied, pasted, mirrored, you get the picture--very very edited image. from digital photo to drawing, add color in paint, and here we are.

Unflattering Self Portrait--from bad to worse

2005-07-05T22:31:00.000-05:00

I was looking at this picture I took of myself--I always look a bit mad in them--both in the angry and insane way.

so I think, I'll muck about with it, see what I can get out of it.
I tried an effect caled "black velvet"--sounds kinda tacky and fun, so....

Eeeeek! It looks like the ghost of Vlad the Impaler!! So I try a negative of it

Oh, that's sooo much better--now I only look like Rasputin.
Bitch slapped by vanity. The humiliation!;)

A Couple of Scans of old work/late pets

2005-06-23T23:33:00.000-05:00

The late great Genghis, AKA "the goose" and many other endearments too embarassing to recount........

The amazing acrocat, walks on this paws, er just the front ones, I mean......

No, he was fearlessly napping, it seems. Perspective being what it is.......

Does this qualify for "So Cute You Could Puke"?

Trans-Atlantic Birthday Hug

2005-06-21T09:49:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to the Queen of Blogging--the great Gatochy!

The central Texas faeries flew this cake special delivery, but haven't been seen or heard from since......suspicious, but we have LOTS more where those came from!!
Happy Birthday Mariana! Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world, thanks for the ethics, good taste, and humor you bring to the table!! Big love from Texas!!

Some of my Older Work

2005-06-07T07:48:00.000-05:00

I found these files from the start of my photography career. I was doing mostly pets and nudes. Anything but weddings.....
Edsel as an evil puppy
the great beast of the apocalypse--really
Fafhrd, feeling like a moviestar
Edsel, savagely licking Sandy
Leaves, in her pregnant/feral days
Star--my dear departed

Early Planning Stage--touched up

2005-05-11T22:06:00.000-05:00

I just bought my textbooks for the next semester of massage school--deep tissue, sports massage and shiatsu. We'll have a monthly brown bag business lunch to discuss issues and share ideas--all that warm and fuzzy crap you'd expect from a bunch of touchy-feely hippy types like us. I plan to use the time to organize MonkeyFest-- a day to celebrate your inner primate, to accept the hardwiring we all share--the need for touch to maintain sanity and social connection. The flinging of poo is strongly discouraged, although we will have a "best mating display" sort of primate beauty contest, not limited to a single gender (fair is fair, after all).

Drums encouraged. And belly dancers.

It Was Bound To Happen.....

2005-05-07T11:16:00.000-05:00

You should see the windsheild of my truck.........shudder

Helsinki in Grip of Month-Long Birthday Bash; February Baby Boom Expected

2005-05-06T23:23:00.000-05:00

Helsinki, Finland-- City officials met to address the city wide celebration of blogging great D. Murphy's birthday, citing widespread good cheer and kindness. "It's worse than ever" said one official who wished to remain anonymous, "I remember last year--crime rates took a plunge, suicide became non-existant, people were just so damn nice".
"We can expect to see an explosion of February births--"craic babies" we call them, as they are known for being healthier, more intelligent, and cuter than the average" reports head of Neo-natal medicine. "And the popularity of the name David is at an all time high. It's going to be chaos in the schools in a few years."
City leaders also report a surge in "Delta-ism" among Finish youth. "Everywhere you go, you see them, laughing together, smiling, thinking for themselves and treating people with respect. If things get much more charming around here, we're going to have to change our country's name to Fionland".

Annual Faerie Infestation Worst in Local Memory

2005-05-06T00:00:00.000-05:00

Austin, Tx.
Local reports of all time high faerie infestations continue to roll in, due to a warm, wet spring and a lower number of natural predators due to unregulated hunting.

Faeries, once raised commercialy in central Texas for their droppings--widely used as packing material for shipping delicate cargo-- have now become a problem as feral populations rise each year. Locals are discouraged from feeding wild Fey, with fines in place for leaving milk on the door step.
"I can hardly sleep, for all the giggling and sighing", complains local crank T. Hoel, "and I'm really allergic to faerie dander. It's bad enough I keep finding them dead in the light covers, but now my house plants are trampled flat from all the dancing-- it's like a sparkly mosh pit, for fuck's sake".

These Sodding Faeries Get Around Abit

2005-05-05T17:32:00.000-05:00

Last one for today, I hope--it's like a disease...when I get started, one pic leads to the next.... anyway, this is Wee Mad Aurther, named for a Pratchett character. Snayd found him abandoned in a truck engine compartment. He was the stroppiest ghit you ever got clawed by until recently--now we're best friends. The faerie thing is a play on the name "Aurther", and Sir Aurther Conan Doyle's interest in faerie photography. Don't you feel better its NOT the voices that suggest these images?

Preparing for MonkeyFest

2005-05-05T13:46:00.000-05:00

I could sit here all day and be happy playing with this graphics program.

Having four days off at a time doesn't help matters much, either.

From the Mind of Trey

2005-05-04T23:50:00.000-05:00

"May"

"August"

Thanksgiving at my House

today's effort

collages made with broderbund printshop

My Tat--its on my left calf

2005-05-04T16:14:00.000-05:00

there. Now we know each other So much better.....

Views of my front window ( I REALLY need to dust........)

2005-05-04T15:23:00.000-05:00

I should use my camera more--it inspires me to CLEAN.......

signs of spring

2005-05-04T10:15:00.000-05:00

New graffito in Pease Park
dandilions from my front yard before mowing

A primate's favorite fruit tree

2005-05-03T22:57:00.000-05:00

This is the loquat tree in my neighborhood. It is in the front of an empty house--you really should have a look at it. Plenty of playground equipment--I think it was a daycare for a while. Lots of room, and this tree.

The fruit of the loquat tree is plum-like, tart and sweet, juicy with a thick skin and multiple pits.
It is the favorite wild food of a certain local primate.
mostly harmless

this is a test

2005-05-03T22:39:00.000-05:00

"care for a spot of hubris, eh? don't mind if I do!"-ego.
this blog is definately the lamer of my pair. I was thinking to create a more recreational blog--less pedantic and high flown than IRBHN. I'm thinking this one will better suit a photoblog--so look for stuff to look at in the near future. If I can only figure out how to display the damn things........

ok--I'm happy...........

Make this page funnier with a few clicks

2005-03-17T04:21:00.000-06:00

copy my url--now click on this http://www.gizoogle.com/, put the url in the box, and see how much better this could be if I wuz street,yo. Holla!

I love this kid

2005-03-13T18:59:00.000-06:00

A Bedtime Story by my brother Edd

2005-02-13T22:09:00.000-06:00

My late brother was an enormous influence on me--my first drunk, first sacreligious joke, you know--big brother stuff. He composed this story (to the best of my knowledge) as a treat to me at age 9.
The Twenty-nine Schwartz Brothers
Once upon a time, there were 29 Schwartz brothers: Jamie, the eldest, followed in line by Murray, Erik, Stavros and Chuck (twins),Renee, Joey, Pietre, Armando, Sergio, Vlad, Amamchukwu, Wang, Hans,Bobby, Xavier, Sean, Blake, Ruben,Oscar, Arthur, George, Pinky, Don,Omar,Vespasian,Boris, Trevor, and Hershell. All of the Schwartz brothers enjoyed a clear, satin like complexion--except for baby brother Hershell. He had warts. Warts on top of warts--it was hard to see him for all the warts. Naturally, his brothers were very concerned, so they fed him dinner, gave him a bath, and put him to bed, vowing to take him to the doctor straight away in the morning.
The next day, bright and early, they dressed Hershell in his best clothes and took him to the family doctor.
"Doctor", said Jamie, the eldest and therefor spokes brother, "our brother is a mass of warts. What can we do?"
"Well,"replied the doc, "you're going to have to cut his head off."
"NO!" exclaimed the brothers, and took Hershell home, where they fed him dinner, gave him a bath, and put him to bed.
This went on for several days--each day a new, better wart specialist, every day the opinion in favor of decapitation, and the subsequent dinner/bath/bed.
Finally, they came upon the worlds most impressive and intimidating expert on warts.
"Doctor", said Jamie, "we've seen every wart doctor in the known world, barring yourself. They all tell us we have to cut our brother's head off. We don't want to do that. Please, Doctor, tell us we won't have to do that!"
The doctor looked Hershell over carefully--looked in both ears, tested his reflexes, listened to his heart beat, and finally smiled.
"Doctor! Tell us! Will we have to cut our brother's head off or not?"
"Absolutely NOT," replied the doctor, "from the look of it, in another day or so it should just DROP off."
The End